I doubt a
lot, especially of what I want to do with my life. Often I doubt if going to
school is the best thing for me. Most of my friends are finishing school very soon
or are already working/settling down. I want to earn money as well so I can do
things I like to do for example travel around to see bands I like or not worry
about how many books I buy and do fun things without having to worry about the
money. But when I think about the jobs I can do without studying, I immediately
remember why I am doing university: I don’t want to work in a store unless
perhaps a bookstore. I have worked in a butcher’s store and it was so very
boring. On calm moments there is just nothing to do, nothing to occupy your
time with except cleaning everything all over again and again until a customer
comes. It makes me unhappy. So I’m going to finish my school and hope to save
enough money to do some gigs and perhaps travel abroad for gigs.
I love
going to school and learning about literature and linguistics. This year,
especially the first term, is tough because I am redoing a lot of courses and I
have seen all the material last year. This makes going to class very tedious.
But besides making me smarter, opening new doors to careers, University gives
me another golden opportunity: going to live abroad for a limited time.
I want to
take that opportunity. I want to experience living abroad, especially in
Finland. My university offers the chance to go study in Tampere. I have thought
about this before, but I was never as determined as now to actually do it. If
everything goes as planned, I shall go and study Finnish in evening classes
next year and go to live for a term in Finland the year after. I hope knowing a
bit of Finnish would enlarge my chances to get the spot in Tampere. Financially
it should be possible if things stay the way they are now. If, for some, I do
not managed to study a term in Finland, I will consider working for a year or
so after my bachelor and do my master’s degree in Helsinki. This means moving
abroad for a year.
My
boyfriend isn’t very thrilled about going to study a year abroad, so he hoped I’ll
do the Erasmus term in Tampere. I know he will let me go if I really want to
even though he doesn’t like it. He cannot stop me anyway. I am not going to
throw such a golden opportunity away. Almost weekly BF and I talk about going
back to Finland and often the subject of moving there arises. Living in Finland
for term or a year is a great way to know if I can cope with the long, dark
days and if I really want to live in the country, though that’s still in the
far future and are for now, merely dreams and no real plans. One step at the
time!
