Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of this song and I can still vividly remember that I was getting my hair dyes or a new hair cut when they started to play ITS on television. I looked at the clip in awe and fell immediately in love with it and with the band. Especially the singer drew my attention. I never stopped loving them since and I probably will always love them.
I haven't changed much in ten years, I think. I grew up and became an "adult" (well I can still be a 16 year old teenager) but at the core I'm still the very same person. I still love the same things: I still listen to the same bands as 10 years ago (okay I've got to know some new ones, but with exception of a few my favourites are still the same), I still love horses, I still adore reading (and it are still the same kind of stores) and I still write. What has changed, however, is that I finally find something interesting to study and that I'm a lot more afraid of things that I used to be. I'm afraid to take risks. Ten years back I wasn't afraid to fall of a horse or ride a difficult horse but now I dread going for a walk with my horse because he is so tense than. When he starts being difficult I jumped as fast as I can from his back because I'm terrified something will happen. Honestly I hate that but there is nothing I can do about it I think. It might have something to do with an accident an acquaintance of mine had. She died because the horse she was riding got spooked and fell off it. I hate it that I have to think everything through. I want to be reckless again, I don't want to think about the possible consequences all the time but I do. It's annoying and it makes me feel like I miss out on a lot of fun.
Perhaps those ten years have changed me more than I thought. Well live is to short to regret and worry about the past. I should look forward and embrace the future and try to fight my demons instead of wishing to be as I ones was.
