Plans for the near future

I doubt a lot, especially of what I want to do with my life. Often I doubt if going to school is the best thing for me. Most of my friends are finishing school very soon or are already working/settling down. I want to earn money as well so I can do things I like to do for example travel around to see bands I like or not worry about how many books I buy and do fun things without having to worry about the money. But when I think about the jobs I can do without studying, I immediately remember why I am doing university: I don’t want to work in a store unless perhaps a bookstore. I have worked in a butcher’s store and it was so very boring. On calm moments there is just nothing to do, nothing to occupy your time with except cleaning everything all over again and again until a customer comes. It makes me unhappy. So I’m going to finish my school and hope to save enough money to do some gigs and perhaps travel abroad for gigs.

I love going to school and learning about literature and linguistics. This year, especially the first term, is tough because I am redoing a lot of courses and I have seen all the material last year. This makes going to class very tedious. But besides making me smarter, opening new doors to careers, University gives me another golden opportunity: going to live abroad for a limited time. 

I want to take that opportunity. I want to experience living abroad, especially in Finland. My university offers the chance to go study in Tampere. I have thought about this before, but I was never as determined as now to actually do it. If everything goes as planned, I shall go and study Finnish in evening classes next year and go to live for a term in Finland the year after. I hope knowing a bit of Finnish would enlarge my chances to get the spot in Tampere. Financially it should be possible if things stay the way they are now. If, for some, I do not managed to study a term in Finland, I will consider working for a year or so after my bachelor and do my master’s degree in Helsinki. This means moving abroad for a year. 

My boyfriend isn’t very thrilled about going to study a year abroad, so he hoped I’ll do the Erasmus term in Tampere. I know he will let me go if I really want to even though he doesn’t like it. He cannot stop me anyway. I am not going to throw such a golden opportunity away. Almost weekly BF and I talk about going back to Finland and often the subject of moving there arises. Living in Finland for term or a year is a great way to know if I can cope with the long, dark days and if I really want to live in the country, though that’s still in the far future and are for now, merely dreams and no real plans. One step at the time!

Dare to be Different

Being different can be very hard, especially if it's visible on the outside. People are very judgemental and often have an opinion ready about people before they have even spoken to them. While I try to keep an open mind about people and not judge them on how they look, I sometimes find this very hard. But I will never ever bully someone because of it.

Bullying is horrible. I have been bullied, not very severe because it never went any further than words but it hurts nonetheless. I just do not understand why people do it. It's horrible what effects bullying can have on the victim. I've read various articles about bullying and heard a lot about it, but every time I feel sick.

I always do my very best not to exclude anyone. Sometimes I have the feeling that I am being excluded from things because I don't easily speak up or only talk when I have something to say that's worthwhile. I find chit-chat very very hard and am barely ever able to do it without thinking too much about what I can say. This often leads to silences and sometimes I have the feeling people think I'm not interested, while I am. I'm just a better listener than a talker.

It takes just a little effort no include someone, but it can make someone feel a lot better. Bullying is a waste of time and energy, you can better spend it doing useful things like spending tome with friends or getting to know more people.

This song is dedicated to a girl who was out with her boyfriend one night and they got attacked. The boy survived the assault but has brain damage and the girl died.  They were attacked because they looked/were different. The song is every beautiful and the video fits is perfectly. I highly advice you to listen to it and watch it once, even though you don't like the music.

What About Us?

Recently Within Temptation announced that they were collaborating with Tarja for their first single Paradise (What About Us?). When I heard the news I was thrilled! I love both Within Temptation and Tarja and I was very curious about the song! Two of my favourite music countries collaborating! (The Netherlands and Finland)

I listen and watched the it for the first time on a tiny phone screen in the bus. I immediately loved the song but I was not quite sure what the video was about until I saw it on a computer screen. The video gave the lyrics a second meaning for me and made the song even better! I love the touch of dystopia in it! I cannot wait until the album releases and to see them live again! Within Temptation is one of the best live bands, their performance is always fantastic! I hope that Tarja would your with them just for this song, but I think that's unlikely seeing Tarja just has a new album out and will be touring as well.