woensdag 22 augustus 2012

I love you

I think that love is one the hardest things to describe. If someone ask me how much I love someone, it's really difficult to say and to be honest, I only think I will know how much I love someone when they are gone.And to me, love is something very powerful. If you want to know more about the power of love, please read Harry Potter by J.K Rowling (she taught me about it). 

I don't believe on love at first sight, but I do believe you can love someone without really knowing them. It's really abstract and hard to explain. Love comes in different ways and for different reason.
I love my boyfriend in an other manner then I love my parents. I don't get all warm, fuzzy and full with butterflies (clich├ęs are easy to explain things in this situation) when my parents give me a gift. Does that mean I don't love them? Of course not!

I know that some people tell there family and friends that they love them, but I have never done that, even though I love them. For me it is obvious that my parents love me. They will give me everything I need, they will always stand at my side and be there for me if I need them. They make sure I have a place to live, a bed to sleep in. That's how I know they love me. They don't have to say it to me, because I know. They know I love them back, because I respect them and their rules. I let them know were I am or around how late I am coming home even though I don't have to. I even ask if I may use something even if I know they are going to say yes.

I hope my friends (I'm using this term in a very broad sense), even those I don't know very well, know that I love them in some degree. I don't think I need to kiss and hug my friends all the time to let them know I love them. If they need a hug, of course they will get one. If they need an ear, they will get it. if they need advise, I will try and give them advise and I never ever want anything in return except friendship. Except some degree of love.

To be honest, there are only two persons in the whole world I say "I love you" to in one way or another. one is my BF and the other is my horse. The latter however, never replies unless he sees me grabbing his foodbucket. Well I suppose that will have to do...

I said that I believe you can love someone without actually knowing them and I am going to try and explain it. For example, I love The Rasmus and I even don't know them. I know I love them, because I am going to miss them when they are gone. Well, to be correct I think I love them and I think I'm going to miss them. They inspire me every time I hear them or see them. It is incredible what kind of power they have over me (well power is not the right word, but I can't describe it with other words). There is other artist that has the same 'power' over me, the same effect. That while I don't think that The Rasmus is the best band. But they are special to me. I always get very excited when they are coming or releasing something new. And one time, they were in such a hurry that they ignored their fans and it was really disappointing to me. In some way, it hurt. It's a really strange feeling, and I'm not quite sure if it's healthy and what it is... It's confusing. I think this whole part of the blog is confusing!

Anyway, I'm going to round it up here, I could talk about this for a couple more hours, but this has to do. If you want to express you opinion on this, feel free to do so! 

zaterdag 18 augustus 2012

Pre-Uni fears...

I haven't blogged about anything useful in ages... I wrote some reviews, but honestly, that was just to 'post' something. Time for a change!

As I wrote somewhere earlier, I am going to attend University. Normally I will apply next week and everything will be official, but honestly, I'm a little scared.
Beside going to University I am also going to follow an evening course about everything to do with horses and running a business with horses. I wanted to do that for a long time already, just because I want to learn more. Some friends of mine are going to do it and I'm tagging along. The first course will be two time a week, the second once a week, if I'm not, mistaking.

I'm afraid I'm taking on more then I can handle. Especially because I have to learn to study early, to organise everything school related. I'm used to learn on the last possible moment and my school stuff was never structured. I hope I will have some free time left to go to my horse and game a few hours a week, but I don't think that is going to happen. Especially the gaming.

I know I can just give up the evening course if it gets to hard, but I know I will be jealous because my friends will finish it successfully and I didn't. It sounds really silly, but I know myself (I think!). The evening course is also a great opportunity to spend some time with my horse friends.

Another thing that concerns me a bit is that I am so shy and not really social... so I'm afraid I end up not making friends at school (University that is). In the last four years or so I had one person in school I actually called a friend, more then a schoolmate. I don't need fifteen people or so, one or two is fine. But I'm anxious about the whole social part already... and It's still more then a month away. How pathetic.

Another problem is money. Right now I am being supported by the state because I am unemployed. Starting from October, I will lose my source of income. How the hell am I going to pay for stuff? For clothes, shoes, school stuff, pay for horse riding lessons (if I ever find the time). I thought about taking a job, but I don't think I'm going to have the time!

As you can read, I am very very nervous about going back to school. About going to the BIG school.

I suppose I'll manage in some kind of way. I've always managed. At least I don't have to get a room.  I hate being away from everyone and having to cook everyday just for myself. 

So far the rant... feel free to leave tips and tricks or something...

zaterdag 11 augustus 2012

Review: Graceling

Last night I finished Graceling by Kirsten Cashore. It's the first book the the Graceling Realm series. Below is a small review. There are no spoilers!

The book is about Katsa, a girl who is Graced. A Grace is an exceptional power and can be almost everything. Katsa has a killing Grace, which means she is an extraordinary fighter and has never been defeated before. When the father of a King is kidnapped, she tries to solve the mystery, discovering so much more on her journey.

Graceling is a book with potential. The story is interesting, but it's not well developed. It feels to more like a glorified draft. Cashore introduces a very interesting villain of which no one in the book knows a lot, but we only seem him very brief and still don't know very much about him. I was so looking forward to know why he became a villain or why he did what he had done.

There is also this ten year old girl. The dialogue that Cashore put's in the girls mount does not fit a ten year old. She is too smart and she overcomes her grief too quickly. Sometimes I forgot she was only ten years old.

The romance in the book terrible. Katsa doesn't want to fall in love because she's afraid to lose her freedom. When she does fall in love, she gives everything to her lover. After a couple of months her lover gives everything he has to her, which is very unbelievable.

Another thing that annoys me is the fact that there are so little descriptions in the book. I love to know what kind of place someone enters, without knowing the full details so I can make up stuff myself. But that doesn't mean I want the picture the whole interior of a castle all by myself. It's annoying, because I keep on wondering how someone lives.

Also Kristen Cashore strikes me as a feminist who's against marriage and who doesn't like girly things. It's really annoying!  

My conclusion is that this is a book with potential and should have been worked out a bit more. A nice snack between books if you don't expect too much.

Next up; A Game of Groans, A Parody of Slush and Soot.