woensdag 26 december 2012

Fan-Idol relationship rant.

I have been thinking about this for a while and decided to make a blog out of it.

Most people look up to a famous person, especially 'young' people. I hope that everyone has the chance to meet their idol/muse/source of inspiration in their life. I have met one of my and it was an amazing experiences and I will treasure it forever.

What I find very strange and creepy is that meeting your idol (just going with this term to make it is easy) turns some people in greedy monsters. It terrifies me!  I always tell me friends that they should shoot me if I start acting like a fan girl in front of my idol. I don't want to make a fool of myself. I know I can be the biggest fan girl in the world (and my friends know that) but I will always compose myself. Some people just attack their idol and demand things from them. You have people who stalk their so called idols or try to get in the tour bus with them. What is wrong with these people? Why do they think that it is normal? Or maybe I am the one who is insane? Hell, I thought asking a hug from my idol would be too fan girlish.

And you also have these fans who treat their idol as some kind of God. Yes, I was a little nervous when I talked to mine, but as soon as he replied the nerves vanished like snow melts in front of the sun (no clue if this is correct English... hmm) . He is just a person like every one else (even though he is a little smaller, more cute,  more special and more birdlike then most people, ooh and I forget to say he has the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe, but he is still just a person like you and me) and I think I will never treat him as someone who is above me. Artists/famous person automatically get placed upon a pedestal and are harder to 'reach' than 'normal' people, depending on how famous they are, but that doesn't mean I have to treat them in a special way. If they want me to treat them like kings, they can go and find some other fan to do that.  I will never kiss the ground they walk on, I will never kiss the things they touched, not will I fight to get the water bottle or towel they used on stage.

What I find very annoying as well is that people want their idols for themselves and refuse to share them. What I mean is talking to them for a long time or take pictures with them numerous times while there are still other fans who didn't had a small chat or a picture with their idol.
Yes, I had my picture taken with my idol twice on the same day and yes I talked to him twice, but that was only because there was time and there were not so many people around. If there were loads of people after the concert, I would not have stayed to have a chat and another picture taken. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person in the world who was been taught to have respect and let everyone have a 'turn.' (damn that sounds so wrong in this context).  

It's insane how super famous people have to protected themselves from their fans and the media, but I do understand it. If you see how insane fans can be... Pushing and pushing so they can get a centimetre closer by their idol, crushing the people in front of them. It's almost feels like the artist that is on stage will marry the fan closest to him/her.

I'm so incredible lucky that my idols play in a relative 'unknown' band and can play a small club show on a 20 minutes walk from my door and make time to talk to their fans. Some of my dear friends are not so lucky and have fallen in love with monster bands who play in large venues crowded with desperate fan girls.

I think fans should respect their idols and idols their fans, even though that's easier said than done.  

Now I have a question for my readers: have you ever met your idol in person? And how was it? 

zondag 23 december 2012

Looking back and looking forward

2012 is close to ending so I decided to look back on it. It has been a pretty cool year but nothing extraordinary. I certainly have some highlights:

- Cologne and seeing The Rasmus for the 4th time together with my boyfriend.
- Got to know some awesome people and one of them became one of my dearest friends.
- I decided to go to university instead of going to work
- Saw The Rasmus for the 5th time in Antwerp and managed to have a chat and a picture taken with Lauri! (one life goal accomplished!) and this experience was shared with my boyfriend and one of my best friends :D

All by all a pretty good year without too many downs. I hope 2013 will be the same or perhaps even better! I'm not going to make any resolutions since there is no way I'm going to do them anyway. instead I will list some realistic things I want to do this year, some plans:

- Go on vacation. preferably Norway with my aunt and uncle, else London.
- See The Rasmus or Lauri live, it would probably include travelling to Germany/Finland/... so maybe I can make this my vacation!
- Write more. I'm already doing a fair bit of writing, thanks to my and my friend's little project.
- Spend more time with my horse. It will be much easier when the sun sets later;
- Save up money to stalk The Rasmus on their next tour. Yes, I'm addicted.

It's not much, but I think it would be difficulty enough to complete every single plan. I am looking forward to the new year, even though I'm not tired of the wonderful 2012.

So what are your plans for 2013?

vrijdag 21 december 2012

The Hobbit: very brief review

About a week a go I saw this film and I absolutely loved it. It was better than The Lord of the Rings trilogy. It was funny, heart warming and excited. It didn't bore me for a second. I was a little afraid that i was going to miss Aragon and the other members of the fellowship, but I didn't. The dwarves were so amazing! And I loved Bilbo. In The Lord of the Rings I didn't like him... he was kind of creepy.

I was surprised that they put some (parts) of the songs in the film! My favourite moment was when they sang Misty Mountains. This would be the perfect song to listen to when you are sitting inside, with something warm to drink while it's snowing outside :D

zaterdag 15 december 2012


Today the Tour dvd of The Rasmus was officially released (they made it by collecting money using 'pledge' Check out the site if you don't know it!

It was possible to buy various exclusive items of the band so they could reach their pledge. I bought the Live DVD (there were a lot of other cool things, like a poster, shirt, goody bag etc). I received a mail that I could download my remixes today and that The Rasmus would contact me personally concerning the personalization of the DVD. I think that it is very cool but of course I suspect it to be a standerd e-mail they send to every fan who bought something that was going to be personalized.

Well I'm actually writing this blog to say how nice some of the remixes are! There are four songs that are being played on the piano by Aynsley Green and song by Lauri. Nothing else. It's really beautiful and relaxing!

New books!

Yesterday I went to visit one of my best friends who lies in a hospital in Ghent and I've combined it with a visit to Het Boekenfestijn (lots and lots of cheap books.

When I complete my around, I had over 70 Euro of books in my trolley. After mercilessly cutting in the books, I ended up with seven books that costed about 40 euro's
I bought:
- The Collected Works of Edgar Allan Poe
- Hamlet by William Shakespeare, illustrated by Harold Copping

- Wolfbreed by S.A. Swann
- The Legend of Sigurd and Gundrun by J.R.R Tolkien (deluxe edition)
- The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Garheme
 - Utopia  by Sir Thomas More
- The Last Dickens by Matthew W. Pearl

There are two others I had received last week, after ordering them from The Book Depository:

- Dragon Champion by E.E. Knight
- The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Georgy 

So again I have a lot books to read and unfortunately not enough times, since I have to study for the exams.

woensdag 12 december 2012

Project: Story World

For a while my friend and I told each other we should write something together for we both like to write. On Monday we started and ended up with a fanfiction. a mash-up featuring Amy Lee (Evanescence), Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars) and Lauri Ylönen ( The Rasmus) and other might still be introduced.
The fun thing about this little project is that we don't make plans for it. We just write. It's actually very funny and excited since we both have our own ideas on where we want to go with the story! Right now they are 19 small chapters and we update very frequently.

Feel free to check it out:

zondag 9 december 2012

Rant: feeling a little lost

I feel a bit like ranting. if this bores you, don't read it then!  So here we go!

I always try to find something to look forward to in the near future, but now I'm finding it very difficult. For the last couple of months I counted the weeks and the days until the The Rasmus gig but since that's over I started looking for something else. The problem is that I can't find anything to look forward to! Of course I can't wait 'till I have my bachelor and master(s), or to study/work for a while in a foreign country, but that's still so far away.

Right now In feel I don't have a purpose and it annoyed me. It seems everyone around me knows what they want and they are working hard to make their dreams come true. I don't even have a clue what I want to do when I graduate. I know I still have a long way to go and perhaps I will discover what I want to do along that journey. I just feel as if I'm stuck in a void.

 My dream is to publish a novel and everyone keeps saying that I have to practise writing or just write a damn novel but it requires so much time and dedication. I scarcely have time to write fanfiction, so how can I write complete novel? And what if  I managed to publish a book some time in the future, what would happened than?

I don't feel like making this an extremely long blog and I still have to read 30 pages of Oroonoko, or The Royal Slave by by Aphra Behn (I might even read the whole thing, since the story seems to be really interesting, according to the introduction).

So what are you looking forward to? What are your goals and dreams?

vrijdag 7 december 2012

Still feels like the first day of my life.

I can't believe that tow days have past already. Time flies by so incredible fast.

Two days ago I went to the concert of The Rasmus. I looked forward to it for months. I love this band so much and they meant so much to me when I was growing up. They were the only ones that were actually always there for me. I just have to press a button and I could hear them. They can brighten up my darkest day.

We arrived first at the venue. it was about half past nine. The tour bus was already there. We were there about ten minutes when two German girls arrived. they were really friendly. Apparently they were doing the whole tour except Russia. I was quite jealous since I'd love to that as well if I had the money and time. I think it's a very cool experience! We were really glad that we could didn't have to sit outside the whole day because the weather was horrible. Lauri (the singer) was glad we didn't have to wait in the rain and snow all day long!

We managed to give them our feathery art (Lauri was surprised that we made it for them.. like why else will I drag it all the way to the venue?) and I think they really liked it because they posted a pic of it on their facebook page! We had a picture with them and if you look very closely, you can see that Lauri is standing on his toes so he doesn't look so small! They were so incredibly sweet! And deep inside I knew that it was going to be a great day!

 I was a bit afraid to go to the club itself, since we had to do some stairs and from experience I know how horrible pushy Belgium people can be! When the doors opened, I was the first one to climb the stairs. When I looked behind me I noticed no one else was allowed through until the pushing stopped. While I rushed upstairs and almost threw my ticket at the person checking it, it was not necessary since I easily secured my place in the middle.

The support act was very good! I had heard one song of the Dirty Youth on youtube and I really liked it but live they were even better! There was a lot of energy in their performance and I enjoyed myself. Not once I wished it would end soon.
I do think that they have great potential and when they come back I might go watch them again!

Then after await of about 11 hours it was finally time for The Rasmus. They were amazing. they played a lot song of their famous Dead Letters albums. Every one was singing along! With the second last song, Mysteria, a lot less people were singing along, even thought the lyrics were rather easy. I had the feeling not much people liked or knew the song.

I always like an acoustic set in the show. Before they started to play It's Your Night acoustic, Lauri told us that he went looking for waffles (Belgium speciality) for about three hours but that they couldn't find them. Obviously they were looking in the wrong part of the city. After the gig we offered to help find them waffles if they were still in town the next day but unfortunately they had to be at the airport at six in the morning to leave for Russia and Lauri didn't liked the thought of waffles as breakfast.

It was an amazing day. Finally, after being a fan for about 8 years, I managed to thank them personally for making music. I really liked that they made time for their fans and I wonder if they know how much they mean to their fans. As memories of that incredible day I have a drumstick (My BF caught it for me... I love it that he is so tall), my Finnish flag got signed by Pauli and Lauri and a new, beautiful T-shirt. Now I have 4 The Rasmus shirt! Wish they sold sweaters though and a lot of picture!  Can't wait to see them again!

zondag 2 december 2012

I'm so excited

Do you ever have the incredible feeling of excitement? Butterfly that fly around in your stomach and you just want to scream and jump around like a lunatic? That you want to go/have/see someone/thing so badly that you just can't stop thinking about it? That you feel like nothing will ever stop you to get/have/see it?

Well I feel like that for a several weeks already, perhaps months. Wednesday I'm going to see The Rasmus live again after half a year and it will probably be the last time for a couple of years (since they are taking a break... again). Also because it's the ultimate relaxation before the nightmare that is called exams.

Is there anything that you are looking forward to so badly? Or for what do you feel very excited? Please, share! 

zaterdag 1 december 2012


For a change I did something special with my hair. Normally I only wear my hair in a tail or every once in a while loose but lately I started to braid (well, my mother does it, since I am so clumsy I can't even braid my own hair). Yesterday my sister was visiting and she uses her skills to braid my hair and this was the result:

Bad cellphone quality

I really like it and I wished I could braid my own hair like this...

donderdag 29 november 2012

So it hurts to be alive, my friend

Recently I have been confronted with two people in my 'inner circle' of friends/family who have suicidal thoughts. It made me think a lot about life and how to deal with it's dark side, but I realized that I haven't met life's dark side yet. I'm pretty sure I have had a peek of it, but I have no clue how overwhelming and heavy life can be. Well actually, I have an idea of how bad it can be, but it's not a first hand experience and honestly, I hope I will never know.

I very small part of me can comprehend why people would want to end their life, but since I've never been so deep, I have no idea how it feels like. I find it very hard to bring up sympathy for those people. I will never say: don't do it. I'm not such a big egoist. Of course I don't want them to do it, but it's their choice.

None of us has chosen to be alive. Life was merely given to use by our parents, our God or how ever you believe. Life is a very precious gift and to kill kill yourself will destroy that gift. Suicide is a selfish, easy way out, but not the right one. I admire people who come to that conclusion themselves and fight against the dark shadow that has settled in their mind.

dinsdag 27 november 2012

Fan girl crafting spree.

On the 5th of December The Rasmus, my  favourite band, will play a concert in my town (Antwerp). My BF, Awesome friend and I are going to attend to concert. Of course we can't just attend a concert like regular people, we have to make something special of it! First of all we are going to sit at the venue all day long (seems I always do that when I go to a concert with my awesome friend) and by doing this we hope to get a front row spot and see the band before the concert starts.

Why before the concert and not after? Well because we made this huge arty thing for them and it will be difficult to get it all the way into the venue and at the front of the stage without damaging it...
I got the idea when I couldn't sleep. Several weeks and two after noons of work later, it is finished! It turned out cooler then I thought it would:

Painting the letters so we can easily glue the feathers on it with a glue gun.

It is starting to get feathery. 

After the first couple hours of work. We couldn't continue because we needed more black feathers.

The finished product.
I hope they are going to like it. I think it's very cool and feathery! I had loads of fun making it. Especially since the glue wasn't very nice and decided to leave strings all over the place.

woensdag 21 november 2012

Stress, already.

December is approaching extremely fast. Faster then I expected. I'm certain December will pass by very fast, as is does every year, because of Christmas and New Year.
Unfortunately that means that the exams (which are in January) will be here very quickly as well. And I have done next to nothing for it. Every now and then, like right now, a small panic attack kicks in and I feel so overwhelmed by the stuff I need to learn. Unless I'm mistaken, I have an oral exam of English Proficiency and it scares the hell out of me. Especially since I'm having trouble with pronouncing the middle "D" in words like sadness. Luckily my "Th" sounds very good, but I must not forget to use it!

I am planning to study in the library because it's harder to be distracted, but it's already very difficult to find a free table if I have a few hours time between classes. I can study at home, but I find myself to be way too easily distracted. I'm so going to suffer of insomnia during the exams because of stress and when I'm nervous or under stress I start eating... not good.... uugh... why did it postpone everything? Where did all the time go?. 

woensdag 14 november 2012

DIY: Red Hair

Like I promised I will now reveal how I managed to keep my hair red for 8 months without having to dye it every couple of weeks.

I used Manic Panic Vampire Red Amplified to get this dark, deep red. Before dying your hair, make sure it's healthy. Manic Panic has to be applied on wet, washed hair. It is very important that you do not use conditioner right before you are going to dye it. I dyed my hair from a very dark brown to vampire red without using bleach. If your hair is lighter or you bleach it, it might turn out brighter!

My mother always dyes my hair, using gloves and a brush (you have to buy these separate since it's not included in the box) For my hair, I have a lot of hair, just over shoulder length, one bottle is enough. The instructions say: how longer you leave the dye in your hair, how brighter the colour will be. They advise to rinse your hair after half an hour. I, however, left it on a whole night. I slept with it. How? Well I gathered all my hair and put in a plastic bag that I used like some kind of hat. It looks incredibly silly and it's not comfortable, but it works. Be sure to put an old towel on your pillow or use an old pillow case because the bag might loosen a bit during the night. In the morning you rinse your hair (not until the water is clear, but until you think most of the dye is out of it) and you apply conditioner.

Be careful with towels and clothes. Your hair will stain the towels and can stain your clothes if your hair gets wet (sweating, rain). It's been more than two months since I last dyed my hair in this way, and my shower/bath water still colours red. This is perfectly normal. This means, however, it can still stain clothes and towels! I do not use any special type of shampoo or conditioner to keep my hair red, but some people advise moisturising shampoo and conditioner. The only thing I do is wash my hair as little as possible. If you can't bear that, use dry-shampoo.

Dying your hair red doesn't have to be expensive or high maintenance, you just have to know how. Be careful if you want to keep another dye than Manic Panic in your hair for the whole night since it might damage your hair. Manic Panic does not damage your hair by keeping it on very long.

Red hair

Red is one of the most difficult colours to keep pretty. It fades quickly so you have to dye your hair often and if you have dark hair and you want bright red, you have to bleach your hair, which can damage it to the point it is dead.

I have a love/hate relationship with red. I've have been dying my hair red for about 5 years now (not constantly though) 

The first time I went to the hairdressers to get red hair. It turned out really nice, but faded fast.

I tried to get the same result by using DIY dye hair kits from the supermarket and from Manic Panic, but I never got the same result. Then the crazy idea came in my head to simply bleach my hair since I don't like to spend money on a hairdresser. I used both Stargazer bleach as dye. I believe it was called fire red.  My hair felt a bit like straw for a couple of days, but using a hair repair masque helped it a lot! 

Unfortunately it faded very quickly and  soon I looked like this:

Not red at all... but orangish. 

Now I think I have find the secret of red hair! This is how my  hair looks now:

In the next blog post I will share how I managed to get this hair colour and keep it for almost 8 months. I have dyed it again in the beginning of September because my hair had grown so much that I had 3 cm of brown in it and it lost a bit of it's brightness.

vrijdag 9 november 2012


I think i have heard this song a thousand times, if it isn't more. In a way I think it is very creepy, especially if you know that the instrumental part symbolises the time it takes to lose conscience under water (that's what is heard anyway). 

There are a lot of theories about this song. I myself don't have a very clear one, but what I suspect is that it's about someone who commits suicide by drowning herself. But then again, I think that it's very obvious. I've looked something up and discovered some nice theories.

This theory (the second last post)  says that it's about Ophelia from Shakespeare's Hamlet. The prove that has been given makes it a very strong theory, except that someone asked Emilie if it was about Hamlet, and she said it was not. I have no idea since I haven't read Hamlet yet, but it's on my to read list with a lot of other books. 

Another theory is about 306 deaths in the Seine

I have no clue which theory is the right one, and I'm sure their are many other plausible ones, but I like it that we don't exactly know what it's about. The mystery gives another dimension to the song.

dinsdag 6 november 2012

Shall I compare thee...

In the course Introduction to Literature in English there are three lessons dedicated to Shakespeare; While I never new a lot about Shakespeare, I always thought he was a brilliant man, for he has influenced so many people. Yesterday we have been discussing some of his sonnets and our Professor made us listen to these two sonnets:

18 (I absolutely love this one) recited by David Tennant 

And sonnet 30 recited by Alan Rickman. I strongly advise you to put the volume high and enjoy it as much as I did.

maandag 5 november 2012

The Rasmusitis

One more month I will be, hopefully, camping in front of TRIX in Antwerp to make sure I'll have a front row spot at the club show of The Rasmus! I hope the weather isn't too bad because I don't feel like getting sick. Luckily I won't be alone because my dear friend and BF will be there with me. I'm already experiencing a severe case of The Rasmusitis. 

I found this amazing performance of one of my favourite songs and I wanted to share it with you. The Rasmus is, for me, the Stranger in the song. The only difference is that I will love them longer then just one night :)

zaterdag 27 oktober 2012

This is were the chapter ends.

I discovered this song and video the other day and I really liked it. And I really feel like I finished a chapter of my life recently and started a new one. In some way it's really difficult, but on the other hands it's as easy as turning a page.

That part of my life is my childhood/teens and it goes hand in hand with Harry Potter and since it had ended last year, it felt appropriate to post this video. While I will never truly leave Hogwarts behind, it is in some ways a closed chapter for me. I have such great memories of my childhood/teens (as well as some lesser) and Harry Potter is the one I most treasure. 

vrijdag 26 oktober 2012

Time flies by...

A whole month has passed by so terribly fast. It actually happened before I really noticed it. After two years of doing nothing at all, it feels like a real liberation. I love school. i have never loved school so much as I do now and I am so grateful that i have been given this opportunity.
Going to University is the best decision I have made in my life thus far.

When I was at secondary school I disliked to go to school. I liked learning, but I disliked the people and the environment. I feel so much more confident at Uni. No one gives me strange looks (or a least I don't have that feeling)and everyone is nice. The other day a guy held open a door for me friend and I can't remember anyone doing that for me except my BF. I thought it was really sweet of him.

While I occasionally have a small panic attack when I think about the exams, I feel pretty confident that I would to rather good. I think it mainly is because I have already identified the subjects that I find very hard like English Proficiency and English Grammar.

Proficiency is so difficult because I find it hard to understand and feel how you use your mouth and breath to pronounce words. Also because we have absolutely no way to practise this except reading a sentence a loud once a week during the language labs. And I'm so afraid of this exam, especially because it's oral.

Grammar is difficult because I can't stay awake during class. I don't know why, because the professor is everything but boring.

Time to end this small rant, because I need to get back to checking up some words I did not understand in the 16th century introduction of the Norton Anthology.

zondag 21 oktober 2012

I'm a great planner! Or not.

I am a terrible planner. When the school year started I told myself to keep up with the courses, take enough good notes and study a lot. Well, this failed already. I haven't studied once for any course except the one which has unexpected tests. Nor have I made summaries and some of my notes from classes are really confusing.

Since the work is building up and I don't want to end up doing everything right before the exams, I'll have to make a schedule. Making it would be rather easy, but keeping it will be hard. I always plan stuff to do in my head, but then I end up not doing it anyway.

If someone has some great tips or tricks for studying or schedules, do share them please!

zaterdag 13 oktober 2012

Review: The Casual Vacany

Yesterday night I finished The Casual Vacancy by J.K Rowling.

I bought it on the release day and started to read in it the next day. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it because it wasn't a thriller, nor a detective,  nor Fantasy, nor romance. So I only wanted to read it because it is written by one of my favourite writers and I was curious how she would write adults.

This is the summary of the book:

Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey, but what lies behind the pretty façade is a town at war.

Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils...Pagford is not what it first seems.

And the empty seat left by Barry on the parish council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations?

I am not going to give anything away from the plot. I'm just going to write down my personal opinion about it. 

After the first few pages I was immediately drawn into the story. It reads very fluently and the characters are great. There are a lot of descriptions in the book; both about characters and environment but it doesn't get boring at all. The book is clearly character driven and I was really curious what was going to happen with each of the characters. The only thing that bothered me slightly was that there wasn't a normal family in the book. Every family had a secret and their problem. But what is normal? It think it's for a lot of people different.

In an interview I read that Rowling cried during this book. I couldn't understand why until I finished it yesterday. I never thought it would and like that. It was very tragic but in a way also very beautiful. 

 I really enjoyed it and if I could, I would give it 4.5/5 but Goodreads won't let me give a half start. 


woensdag 10 oktober 2012


Yesterday the new video clip of The Rasmus' latest single was released on the internet. I had heard the song before and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. Now I have to admit that I like it. It's really weird since it's absolutely not my kind of music. If I think about it I like everything The Rasmus makes. In some way I find that very annoying, because I don't believe that there is such a thing as perfect, but it seems that The Rasmus is, for me, perfect (as a band). Ever since I heard In The Shadows for the first time Iv' been a huge fan of them and they have changed so much and I still like them as much, maybe even more. I don't think there is another band of which I like everything they do. I always wait for the moment that The Rasmus is going to disappoint me, but it never seems to happen, for which I'm glad. They always manage to surprise me and I hope they keep doing.  I can't wait to seem them again! It's been almost 5 months since I saw them in Germany, but it feels so much longer.

What do you think of the new song and clip?

vrijdag 5 oktober 2012


Well first two weeks of University are done and I have had all my classes. I like all most all of them (so far) and that's great!

My favourite course right now is Introduction to the Literature in English. It's very interesting but it's also a big pain in the ass. I have to 'prepare' a 21 pages introduction of the Middle Ages and read a part of Beowulf for Monday. With prepare they mean you have to know what's in it, since there might be a test about it. Great. Right now I find it difficult to actually figure out what is important (because there so much background information about it) so i hope we'll get a test on it so that I have an idea on what they ask. Right now I'm using post-its with an extremely brief summary on it and I put them in my book.

So this is what my weekend looks like:

So what are you doing this weekend?

maandag 1 oktober 2012

End of another Era

Just a few minutes ago I read something I am really happy about. I feel a little guilty that I feel happy about it, but whatever!

Now the news: Anette is leaving Nightwish!

I enver hated Anette, but I liked Nightwish less since she was in the band. I listen to both cd's with Anette as vocalist, but honestly, I couldn't listen to them in the same way I listen to the cd's with Tarja. Anette's voice bored me fast. And I'm sure something is wrong... she's leaving after only two albums...

Right now they are finishing their world tour with Floor (ex-After Forver, Revamp). And of course they've already been to Belgium.

Now I'm really curious what kind of voice they are going to take to replace Anette. It can't be worse, or can it?

The official Press statement can be found here.

I just had to share this!

zaterdag 29 september 2012

Don't you tell me how life should be

I hate people who try to control other people's lives. I believe that every person has the right to chase their dreams, to develop and grow. If you have to do something in life you do not like for a very long period of time, you will become unhappy at one level or another. You just won't be motivated to put effort in it.

I think it's really strange that parents expect from their children that they become a doctor or an advocate. Or that they force their kids to go to university. Everyone"s dreams are different. Some people dream of this one  job they want to do, others dream of having a lot of money, or a nice house and a family. I love my parents for letting me chose what to do and support me no matter what. They'd be perfectly happy if I decided to work as a shopkeeper for the rest of my life. 

I also belief that, to be really happy, you need to have a purpose in life. Something you want to achieve. You have to keep on dreaming. To be honest, I don't have a big dream right now since I'm not certain where I want to go with my life. Right now I want to get as smoothly as possible through Uni and it will be completely  awesome if I could spent a semester studying in a different country, preferably somewhere in the U;K or Ireland. 

Well actually I have a dream. I love to write a novel and become a published writer but it's not the time yet to work towards that dream. First I need to finish my studies and settle down. I don't like to look too far into the future. I made a lot of plans with my BF already. Some very vague, some clear. But those plans can change easily. I do my best to live day by day and see what a new day bring me. Most of all I try to spend less time worrying and more time enjoying the simple things of life, because life is way too short of worry. Before we know, life is over.

This song always inspires me and gives me a lot of energy. It makes me feel better when I'm down and it makes me forget my worries. 

maandag 24 september 2012

Nailpolish: Cracked

Nail polish and I have a love/hate relationship. Since I don't have the patience it requires to probably polish my nails, I mess it up most of the times. Now, however, I found the solution: I polish my nails while I'm watching series! I don't have to use my hands while watching and I am doing something!

I am not someone who takes great care of her nails. My nails get damaged very often because I'm working with horses and everything that goes with it. I always get very disappointed and sometimes angry when polish loses very fast (with fast I mean the first day) and that why I rarely did it anyway, even though i love it.

Now I finally bought a new top coat and bought some nice colours. My favourite brand of nail polish is Gosh (from the once I tried). It isn't really expensive nor is it cheap. But cheap nail polish is ugly and doesn't last nearly as long.

As you see (from this extremely ugly picture...) I have a cracked nails effect. I used Gosh 01 base/top coat as base for everything. After it dried I put on a layer of 008 Berry Me (which is a special edition). When that was dry, I used 03 Silver (Cracked Nail Lacquer). It's really easy to do, since you just have to apply the Cracked Nail Lacquer as if you were using normal polish. Slowly you see bits of it vanishing and after 30 seconds you get this result! I finished it all with a couple layers of the top coat. Yes, I used a lot of it, just to make sure it all stays on my nails for hopefully a few days!

I did this all while watching Prison Break season one... again.

vrijdag 21 september 2012

Ready for Uni!

That start of the new academic school year (is this the right term in English? I don't know) is nearing! On Monday there is an introduction day and on Tuesday Uni starts for real. Thursday is a free day because there is a major party in Antwerp for the opening of the new year. Since I'm not really a party person and it's not my kind of music, I am not going. On Friday I have no school as well since there aren't any course I am required to follow.

I'm really thrilled to be going back to school after almost two years. Until a few months back, I didn't noticed how hard I missed learning new things. I think I'm as good as ready! I have a huge new desk. My old one was way too small. With my computer on it it was full; I have a really nice bag (waterproof, in case of heavy rain) and my aunt and uncle are going to take me shopping Saturday. (yeah, I'm spoiled!) I figured out Blackboard and finally managed to change my password into something I can actually remember.

I just need to get my books and stuff. I know which books I need to get, but I'm not sure about how and where I should get them. So I'm going to wait on that until I have some more information!

The only thing that I'm a little worried about is that I have some lesson that follow up to each other immediately, but are on another place on campus. For example I have a lesson in building A from 15.00 - 16.00 and the next on is on 16.00 -17.00 in building B, which is about a five minute walk from building A. I'm sure it will turn out okay, but I'm afraid that I'll miss something important or so. I hate being late!

Something that is going to be weird is that I need to  plan and won't have as much free time as I'm used to. I have spent whole days doing nothing but sitting at home a lot during the last two years. Luckily I adapt well to almost any situation.

woensdag 22 augustus 2012

I love you

I think that love is one the hardest things to describe. If someone ask me how much I love someone, it's really difficult to say and to be honest, I only think I will know how much I love someone when they are gone.And to me, love is something very powerful. If you want to know more about the power of love, please read Harry Potter by J.K Rowling (she taught me about it). 

I don't believe on love at first sight, but I do believe you can love someone without really knowing them. It's really abstract and hard to explain. Love comes in different ways and for different reason.
I love my boyfriend in an other manner then I love my parents. I don't get all warm, fuzzy and full with butterflies (clichés are easy to explain things in this situation) when my parents give me a gift. Does that mean I don't love them? Of course not!

I know that some people tell there family and friends that they love them, but I have never done that, even though I love them. For me it is obvious that my parents love me. They will give me everything I need, they will always stand at my side and be there for me if I need them. They make sure I have a place to live, a bed to sleep in. That's how I know they love me. They don't have to say it to me, because I know. They know I love them back, because I respect them and their rules. I let them know were I am or around how late I am coming home even though I don't have to. I even ask if I may use something even if I know they are going to say yes.

I hope my friends (I'm using this term in a very broad sense), even those I don't know very well, know that I love them in some degree. I don't think I need to kiss and hug my friends all the time to let them know I love them. If they need a hug, of course they will get one. If they need an ear, they will get it. if they need advise, I will try and give them advise and I never ever want anything in return except friendship. Except some degree of love.

To be honest, there are only two persons in the whole world I say "I love you" to in one way or another. one is my BF and the other is my horse. The latter however, never replies unless he sees me grabbing his foodbucket. Well I suppose that will have to do...

I said that I believe you can love someone without actually knowing them and I am going to try and explain it. For example, I love The Rasmus and I even don't know them. I know I love them, because I am going to miss them when they are gone. Well, to be correct I think I love them and I think I'm going to miss them. They inspire me every time I hear them or see them. It is incredible what kind of power they have over me (well power is not the right word, but I can't describe it with other words). There is other artist that has the same 'power' over me, the same effect. That while I don't think that The Rasmus is the best band. But they are special to me. I always get very excited when they are coming or releasing something new. And one time, they were in such a hurry that they ignored their fans and it was really disappointing to me. In some way, it hurt. It's a really strange feeling, and I'm not quite sure if it's healthy and what it is... It's confusing. I think this whole part of the blog is confusing!

Anyway, I'm going to round it up here, I could talk about this for a couple more hours, but this has to do. If you want to express you opinion on this, feel free to do so! 

zaterdag 18 augustus 2012

Pre-Uni fears...

I haven't blogged about anything useful in ages... I wrote some reviews, but honestly, that was just to 'post' something. Time for a change!

As I wrote somewhere earlier, I am going to attend University. Normally I will apply next week and everything will be official, but honestly, I'm a little scared.
Beside going to University I am also going to follow an evening course about everything to do with horses and running a business with horses. I wanted to do that for a long time already, just because I want to learn more. Some friends of mine are going to do it and I'm tagging along. The first course will be two time a week, the second once a week, if I'm not, mistaking.

I'm afraid I'm taking on more then I can handle. Especially because I have to learn to study early, to organise everything school related. I'm used to learn on the last possible moment and my school stuff was never structured. I hope I will have some free time left to go to my horse and game a few hours a week, but I don't think that is going to happen. Especially the gaming.

I know I can just give up the evening course if it gets to hard, but I know I will be jealous because my friends will finish it successfully and I didn't. It sounds really silly, but I know myself (I think!). The evening course is also a great opportunity to spend some time with my horse friends.

Another thing that concerns me a bit is that I am so shy and not really social... so I'm afraid I end up not making friends at school (University that is). In the last four years or so I had one person in school I actually called a friend, more then a schoolmate. I don't need fifteen people or so, one or two is fine. But I'm anxious about the whole social part already... and It's still more then a month away. How pathetic.

Another problem is money. Right now I am being supported by the state because I am unemployed. Starting from October, I will lose my source of income. How the hell am I going to pay for stuff? For clothes, shoes, school stuff, pay for horse riding lessons (if I ever find the time). I thought about taking a job, but I don't think I'm going to have the time!

As you can read, I am very very nervous about going back to school. About going to the BIG school.

I suppose I'll manage in some kind of way. I've always managed. At least I don't have to get a room.  I hate being away from everyone and having to cook everyday just for myself. 

So far the rant... feel free to leave tips and tricks or something...

zaterdag 11 augustus 2012

Review: Graceling

Last night I finished Graceling by Kirsten Cashore. It's the first book the the Graceling Realm series. Below is a small review. There are no spoilers!

The book is about Katsa, a girl who is Graced. A Grace is an exceptional power and can be almost everything. Katsa has a killing Grace, which means she is an extraordinary fighter and has never been defeated before. When the father of a King is kidnapped, she tries to solve the mystery, discovering so much more on her journey.

Graceling is a book with potential. The story is interesting, but it's not well developed. It feels to more like a glorified draft. Cashore introduces a very interesting villain of which no one in the book knows a lot, but we only seem him very brief and still don't know very much about him. I was so looking forward to know why he became a villain or why he did what he had done.

There is also this ten year old girl. The dialogue that Cashore put's in the girls mount does not fit a ten year old. She is too smart and she overcomes her grief too quickly. Sometimes I forgot she was only ten years old.

The romance in the book terrible. Katsa doesn't want to fall in love because she's afraid to lose her freedom. When she does fall in love, she gives everything to her lover. After a couple of months her lover gives everything he has to her, which is very unbelievable.

Another thing that annoys me is the fact that there are so little descriptions in the book. I love to know what kind of place someone enters, without knowing the full details so I can make up stuff myself. But that doesn't mean I want the picture the whole interior of a castle all by myself. It's annoying, because I keep on wondering how someone lives.

Also Kristen Cashore strikes me as a feminist who's against marriage and who doesn't like girly things. It's really annoying!  

My conclusion is that this is a book with potential and should have been worked out a bit more. A nice snack between books if you don't expect too much.

Next up; A Game of Groans, A Parody of Slush and Soot.

vrijdag 27 juli 2012

Book review: The Demon King

It's been more then a month since I blogged something. Not much has been happening lately, but I felt the need to blog something so I decided to write a little book review. 

The Demon King  by Cinda Williamns Chima  is the first book of the Seven Realms series. It's a Young Adult Fantasy novel. My version counted 506 pages. 

The story is about two young people:

The story starts when Han becomes the owner of a very old and powerful amulet. Ever since he owns the amulet, he has nothing but bad luck. 

Raisa, the heir to the Queendom, feel like she is imprisoned. She want's to explore the world, but is not allowed to. Her future has been set out for her by a mother. She can't even decided who she wants to marry. 

It's a pretty decent book and reads very fluently. The first chapter is very interesting and pulls you right into it. It's well written and not boring. What I like a lot about the book is that the World Building is very good. As the story continuous, you learn more and more about the world, like in most well written Fantasy. What I found different is that I had the feeling that I knew a lot about the world. It was in a way, very familiar. Maybe it because I have read a lot of Fantasy and that I recognized things from other stories or the writer is just extremely good at world building. The world and the politics and the rules are pretty simple and straightforward. Very easy to understand. 

What I disliked about the book was that it took a while (about 350 pages) before it get's really intense and interesting. Of course there are some interesting sequences before that, but they didn't seem important for the plot (yet). It's a shame that it takes 350 pages to set up the foundations of the pretty straightforward plot. Perhaps it was needed, but to find out, I need to read the other books in the series as well.  

dinsdag 19 juni 2012

Patrick Rothfuss

A while ago I saw a book with a very nice cover and title in the Waterstone. The book was called The Name of the Wind. I absolutely loved the title, so I picked up, read the summary and bought it. It took me a while before I started to read it, but it was absolutely amazing!

It's been a while since I enjoyed reading a book so much, it became one of my favourite books. What I like so much about it is the way the story is told. The story is actually told by the main character himself, Kvothe. The part where you see the older Kvothe, is in third person. When you see the young Kvothe (the story) it is in first person. Normally I don't laugh out loud when reading a book, but I did with this one. There are really funny things in it. Another point that makes the book so good for me is the fact that I have no idea if I like or dislike Kvothe. Sometimes I feel sorry for him, but a few pages further I could slap him hard in the face for his stupidity.

Since I liked the book so much, I decided to look up some information about the author and what other books he had written. To my surprise, this was his very first book. He has done a very very good job with his very first book! He surely is, for me, the best fantasy writer I've read so far (but than again, I still have to read books from Jordan, Sanderson etc)

Now I am going to read H;P Lovecraft and when that is finished, I am going to read the second book The Wise Man's Fear. I have very high expectations of it and I hope I wont be disappointed. By the way, the series is called "Kingkiller Chronicle"

donderdag 24 mei 2012


I can't remember shwoing pictures of my horse, so I decided to post some! Dancer (his real name is LaColt but we call him Royal Dancer, long story) is an 18 year old KWPN horse. I did minor changes in photosop except for the first picture, where I removed the lounge.

woensdag 23 mei 2012

Cologne: The Rasmus

I had an awesome two days in Köln/Cologne/Keulen or however you want to call it. On the first day we saw some rain, but it wasn't too bad and the second day we had a lot of sun and nice temperatures!

I planned to buy nothing, except a hoodie at the concert, but that intent failed when I enter a bookshop. They had loads of Simon's cat stuff and of course I couldn't leave without buying some of it!

The main reason we went to Cologne was the gig of The Rasmus, which was amazing. The act before The Rasmus was In Me, a very cool band with very nice members. My BF bought a shit of them with a lion octopus tigerish thing on it. Very nice art! I wanted to buy a hoodie of The Rasmus, but they didn't have them, so I ended up buying a way too expensive shit and a bag.

I absolutely loved the concert. They played a lot of my favourite songs and the set list was a nice mix of old and new songs. At the acoustic set the asked their fans what they wanted to hear, and I yelled really loud Days, and they played it! I really enjoyed it, but I still don't understand why Lauri's is wearing rubber boots (YELLOW!!!) on stages!

Days (not filmed by me)

woensdag 9 mei 2012

The Rasmus is back!

Perhaps a bit of old news, but my favorite band is back! They started their tour the day before yesterday and I am going to see them in 9 days in Köln. They have a very small tour, exclude a lot of countries like Belgium and the Netherlands. Normally the play more gigs in the U.K but this time it's only one in London. 

I think that he new album is awesome. very different from the last three, but still very Rasmus. I can't wait 'til 18 May! When I'm back, I'll blog about the concert of course!  

woensdag 25 april 2012

Elf Fantasy Fair

Saturday I went to the Elf Fantasy Fair and it was just amazing! At first I was a bit afraid of the weather because they predicted 95% chance of rain and it could storm, but we only had twice about ten minutes of rain. The sun even shined for a while!

I saw such beautiful things on the fair. A lot of pretty clothes but all very expensive and cine I try to lose a bit of weight, I didn't bought anything. No, that's a lie. I bought a moonkin action figure from World of Warcraft (MMORPG). 90 % of the people were dressed up, it was so amazing and almost everyone looked so beautiful! I saw Voldemort, Queen Amidala, Daenerys Stormborn (whom was in love with Theon Greyjoy). I saw Jon Snow from afar. I looked for him during the fair, since he looked so much like Kit Harington and I wanted to ask him if he wanted to take me with him to the wall. I saw a dragon, a a lot of different kinds of elves and vampires and I am sure there was an Ezio or 10 running around. One of the most amazing costumes I saw, was someone dressed up as a Satyr. It was such a beautiful costume!

The main reason why I wanted to go the fair (beside tat it is just absolutely awesome) was Christopher Paolini. He was giving a lecture (well more like a talk) and afterwards was the signing. He is such an amazing storyteller and he is so funny! I really enjoyed his talk and I asked a question as well. I asked what his opinion is about fanfiction and he said that it is amazing that fans like authors work enough to write in it themselves. Some authors even started by writing fanfiction. There is still hope for me! He also said that it is ridiculous that some authors are against it. Seems we have the same opinion on that. It's selfish not to let your fans work with you world. Robin Hobb, you are arrogant and selfish!

After the talk I had to wait two hours to get my book signed! I was glad he signed everyone's book since normally he only would be signing an hour. It would gone a lot faster if he hadn't talked to everyone. But he is such a nice person! Wish he would take me to his home (since he lives in the middle of nowhere!)

Christopher Paolini asking my name to personalize the autograph.

Newt year, or perhaps even in September, I want to go again. And this time I want to go dressed up properly, and not as a Gryffindor!

More pictures: (click om them to make them bigger!)

An awesome dragon!

A caterpillar! Great costume!

Jack Sparrow! In the back you can see another one who looks so much like Johnny Depp!


Ezio from Assassins Creed

A very friendly vampire!

Queen Amidala and a priest/druid  girl. 

maandag 23 april 2012


For those who do not know it it, LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing. You create a character that meets the requirements and rules of the game and you'll be that character for the whole weekend (unless you get killed...)

For some time I have been considering trying this out but it's really expensive if you aren't handy like me since you probably end up buying everything instead of making it. That's, beside that I am extremely shy, one of the reason I have never tried it. My interest in LARP peaked again at the Elf Fantasy Fair and I have decided try it out. Now I have just need to find an event on a suitable date.

I am going to try out as an extra so I don't have to buy all those expensive equipment from the start, in case I don't like it (how can I not like playing someone else in a fantasy world?) My BF has agreed to try it as well!

If it works out, I still have a dilemma of what kind of character I want to play... Rogue style, with daggers, dual wielding shorts swords or bows (or a combination) and all clad in leather seems a very cool way to go. But a magi or a druid seems very cool as well. Only problem : I have never used a bow before...

But this is still something for in the future. Maybe I can roleplay my character at the next Elf Fantasy Fair or something! I will add a blog about the Elf Fantasy Fair soon! Perhaps even tomorrow or the day after...

donderdag 5 april 2012

Why books are amazing.

While do I love reading so much? Every time I open a book and start to read, I leave this world to travel to another or to go back in time or visit the future. It’s really nice to trade this world in for another, even though it is just for a little while. I really do not understand why some people dislike, or even hate reading. How can you hate reading? You can pick a book from a genre that you like, or about a subject that you like the most. In my opinion, people who don’t like to read haven’t read a good book yet or have difficulties with reading. There is nothing as fun as living those incredible stories.

When I was about ten years old, I got my letter from Hogwarts and traveled by train to Scotland to become a witch. I killed the Basilisk with Harry and mourned the death of Sirius. I also went on a dangerous quest with Frodo to destroy the Ring and crowned Aragon. I rode together with Eragaon on Saphira’s back and learned how to defend cities and how to make a Dragon Riders sword. I’ve walked through a wardrobe and saw winter. I chased Dracula and lived at the Tudor court. I won the Hunger games and found the Holy Grail. I fell in love with a fallen angel and sat on the Iron Throne. I voted for the new Lord Commander and listened to Cairne Bloodhoof, when Thrall didn’t.

I did all of that and a lot more, because I read books. There is so much adventure and so much knowledge in books. Even fictional books can teach us a lot. Just yesterday and orc taught me that the future or the past do not matter. The only thing that is important is this moment. If you live too much in the past, or too much in the future, you cannot enjoy life.
There is an awesome movie about a boy who get sucked into (classic) stories! If you haven’t seen it, you really should check it out, I’ll post a trail down below!

zondag 18 maart 2012

I want to

I decided to write some things down I really want to work on, change or banish completely. I know it something similar to new year resolutions, but a lot has changed since then!

Become a better writer.

It's my dream to get something published, but I know it is very hard and difficult and the chance that I will ever write a best seller, is very slim. While I won't have a lot of time to write fiction the next couple of years (school) I do have to write essays and stuff, and that can help to improve my writing skill as well. Right now I am writing a fanfic in the Harry Potter fandom, in English. It's a great help in practising my English and helping me plot a little, but there is minimal character development. I also read a lot of writer tips and try to apply them!

Lose weight

I seriously have to lose some weight in a cheap way. I've been doing this for a year or two now, so you see how horrible I am at it. I always start to eat when I am bored or watch a film. I should sport more as well. Horse riding and swimming isn’t enough. Maybe I should really consider to go jogging.

See more of the world

I want to travel more. I never travelled a lot and I've never been out of Europe. The farthest I have been, is Spain (I lived there when I was very young). In May I am going to Köln for a gig, but due circumstance we can only stay one night, so we won't have a lot of time to do some sightseeing. I would love to go study abroad for a semester, but it will cost a lot of money. You can get a scholarship for it, but it isn't much. If I could pick any country in Europe to go to, it will the U.K or Finland. U;K fits better for my studies but I always wanted to see Finland. Hard choice. Besides the U.K and Finland, I'd love to see Egypt, Ireland, Scotland, Norway, Iceland, Rome, and Russia.

Be more sociable

I am a very shy and timid person and I do not make friends easily. Especially not since my friend, whom I believed was my soul mate, stabbed me in the back. I am afraid to trust people with important things and I am afraid of what people think of me because I am so insecure. I do have some friends, but I don't do a lot of stuff with them and most of the time. I also hated that, most of the time, I need to take the first step to meet up. I never go out because I do not like it, so I hardly meet knew people and sometimes it is really frustrated. I always feel like the girl people can meet up with when all their other friends don't have time. It sucks. Next year, when I'm going back to school, things are going to be different. I want to enjoy student life fully, and meet new people and get more friends. Long live introduction days.

Be really good at something

I hope that one day I will be very good at something, better than anyone else in my neighbourhood. When I think I am pretty good at something, someone who's better comes by, it is really annoying. I want that someone says: “woow! That's really great” (not my family!) about something I can do. I'm average with animals/horse, I am a basic skilled horse rider, I'm a basic skilled photographer, basic to bad writer, I'm horrible with make-up, I'm not a very good game either. Well the only thing in what I am really good, is being a walking Harry Potter lexicon. I'm good at being inpatient. I hate being average in everything. It's annoying. I don't want to become the worlds greatest whatever, but I think you get what I mean.

maandag 5 maart 2012

Music video's

Here are four recent music video I like! Enjoy!

Diablo Blvd - Saint of Killers (Builders of Empires)

The Rasmus - I'm a Mess (The Rasmus, not yet released)

Evanescence - My Heart is Broken (Evanescence)

Lacuna Coil - Trip the Darkness (Dark Adrenaline)

zaterdag 25 februari 2012

Going to university.

After one year and a few months I have finally decided what I really want to do right now. For a whole time I have been doubting and changing my mind about what I really wanted to do. After picking a wrong study and trying to find a job (I never got one because my heart wasn't in it and I didn't put any effort in it) I decided to go back to school. University to be more precise. I have been thinking a while about going back to school, but I was afraid of the workload, that I have to give things up I don't want to give up and the costs of it. Talking to someone has made me realize that life is way too short to doubt a lot, and that I have to take risk and work hard if I want something in life. So Thursday I talked to my parents and they were okay with in, but warned me that I had to pay for my study myself (or the most of it) because they can't. Right now I get money because I am looking for a job and I am going to safe every last cent of it for school.

Of course I had to pick a study that isn't easy, but it really seems very interesting! Language and Literature (It's a free translation, so it could be wrong!) in Antwerp. Very close to home, so I don't need a room. I have to pick two languages, and I will be going for Dutch and English, since those two seems the most interesting. If I could, I might have considered French, but you need a bit of knowledge for it to be able to start it, and I suck at French.

I know I will have to work very hard, but I will make it. I will have that Master in a few years so my family and my boyfriend will be proud of me and so I can be proud on myself.

If someone wants to share their experience about the study, or about the University of Antwerp, please feel free!