dinsdag 23 november 2010

Life is just a game

It has been a while so I thought that I should update this blog.
Not much is going on lately. I’m still looking for work and I’m sitting at home most of the days, which is so boring. The only positive about that is that I had a lot of time to play games, read and think.
I thought a lot about what I wanted to do with my future, but I don’t want to plan it out. The chance that things will go as you plan them, is  small. Si I decided to pick a thing to do first and see what happens and when that’s finished, I’ll pick something else and work towards it.
The first thing I want to do is getting a horse. But before I can get a horse, I need to get a job unless I wake up tomorrow and have enough money to buy a horse and take care of it.
I’m going to list some stuff I would like to see happening in the future, but like I said, just one thing at the time!
In a year or five I would like to be able to buy a house. I hope that I can afford a little farm or something like that.
Around that time I want to have my own business as well. A shop. Look previous blog for more details on this matter.
I want a drivers license so I can go on vacation with the horses/horse or do some competitions.  
I want to raise a foal.
I want to go on vacation to Finland, Ireland, …
It doesn’t seem too difficult to realize all this stuff in one lifetime. But hey, you’ll never know what will happen nor how much time we have.
But I’m trying to live my life as I want. I try not to worry and not to bother about silly things.  I used to freak out when a school thing wasn’t going as planned or wasn’t finished at all, but why the hell did I do that?
Life is a game, a hard one. I want to have fun while playing the game and I want to play it by my rules and no one is going to tell me what I should do with my life. Not even my boyfriend and he knows that.
He wants children and I don’t. If he wants them, then he should go to another. Of course that will hurt. But I can’t direct his life, se he isn’t allowed to direct mine.
My parents build the foundations of my life. They built the game engine. And now I am playing my game.  And I’m not scared to fall. I’m not afraid to fail since I’m prepared to learn, prepared to get hurt and I’m prepared to grieve.

Life is just a hard game we all play and I hope that I’m going to pwn!

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