maandag 4 februari 2013

Time flies

The last couple of weeks, and especially yesterday, I have been reminded how fast times flies. It's very hard to grasp that the last ten years have passed in what seems to me a blink of an eye. It makes me realise that life is really short and we have to live every day the fullest and live for tomorrows.

Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of this song and I can still vividly remember that I was getting my hair dyes or a new hair cut when they started to play ITS on television. I looked at the clip in awe and fell immediately in love with it and with the band. Especially the singer drew my attention. I never stopped loving them since and I probably will always love them. 

I haven't changed much in ten years, I think. I grew up and became an "adult" (well I can still be a 16 year old teenager) but at the core I'm still the very same person. I still love the same things: I still listen to the same bands as 10 years ago (okay I've got to know some new ones, but with exception of a few my favourites are still the same), I still love horses, I still adore reading (and it are still the same kind of stores) and I still write. What has changed, however, is that I finally find something interesting to study and that I'm a lot more afraid of things that I used to be. I'm afraid to take risks. Ten years back I wasn't afraid to fall of a horse or ride a difficult horse but now I dread going for a walk with my horse because he is so tense than. When he starts being difficult I jumped as fast as I can from his back because I'm terrified something will happen. Honestly I hate that but there is nothing I can do about it I think. It might have something to do with an accident an acquaintance of mine had. She died because the horse she was riding got spooked and fell off it. I hate it that I have to think everything through. I want to be reckless again, I don't want to think about the possible consequences all the time but I do. It's annoying and it makes me feel like I miss out on a lot of fun. 

Perhaps those ten years have changed me more than I thought. Well live is to short to regret and worry about the past. I should look forward and embrace the future and try to fight my demons instead of wishing to be as I ones was. 

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