I feel infinite

People who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower  by Stephen Chbosky are very familiar with the phrase: "I feel infinite". Those who have not read the book, should do so. You have no idea what you are missing out on. Stop doing whatever you are doing and get your hands on that book. It's a quick read that taught me a lot about myself.


When I sitting on the bus earlier, I was thinking if I have ever felt infinite. What does feeling infinite exactly mean? Well I suppose it is open for discussion and it depends on how you view it, but someone on yahoo defined it as:

"Feeling infinite" means to be in tune with the infinite, to attain your own self-actualization. In other words, to feel divine in your own unique ways.

source 

I have felt infinite and it is the most amazing feeling. It is one of those few things that aren't explainable with words, but I will try my best. When I felt infinite, I had the feeling I could take on the world. That nothing was ever going to stop me or bring me down. Everything around me just melts away and the world only exists of me and the people I am sharing that certain experience with. No personal worries, no world problems, nothing. It's a feeling of pure joy, pure happiness. Hell, no. It's beyond being happy. It feels as if you can touch the stars. Divine might be the proper word. I could spend hours trying to describe this, but not a word or sentence will be able to capture the feeling, so I'll end my attempt to describing it here. Maybe sharing my experiences with feeling infinite might be a lot more interesting than actually trying to describe it. Maybe some of you can related. 

Before I had my own horse, I rode one. I went to the forest a lot together with my boyfriend. He on hos bike and I on horse back. This one time, I was cantering on the broad hilly lane and my boyfriend was biking beside me at the very same speed. I gave the horse the reins and let her determine how fast she wanted to go. It was such an incredible feeling! It felt like flying! I have never ever felt like that while riding a horse. She listened to the softest touch and I trusted her completely. It was heaven on earth.

The other times I felt infinite was during gigs. Not random gigs but during the gigs of my favourite band The Rasmus. I have seen them five times and trice I stood on the front row. Those three front row gigs, made me feel infinite. One time the guitarist smiled at me and my boyfriend because we were jumping and screaming the lyrics as if we were possessed. I don't think there is anything I love more in the world than those four guys. They have been there for me for ten years now. They can make me laugh and cry. But most of all, they gave me the best times of my life. And I am so happy I could share those with my boyfriend and some friends.

The zoo is cool, or not?

Yesterday I watched Mysteria/Live 2012 DVd from The Rasmus. In the backstage footage we see some clips of the band visiting a zoo. At a certain moment one of the band member looks at a gorilla and says: "This is so wrong, we keep them here as prisoners."


I have always loved the zoo. As a child, my mother used to take my sister, me and some friends to the zoo a lot. Of course when you are little, you do not realise that the animals are indeed prisoners. The zoo is a great place and nothing is more amazing to an animal loving child than to watch all these magnificent animals. Now, I am older and wiser. I really feel sorry for the animals trapped in the zoo and, for some reason, especially birds. They are the image of freedom to me. They can fly go everywhere they want, no obstacle like water, mountains or cities can stop them. It strange to see them in such small cages but most of those animals have never known freedom.  Sometimes I'm ashamed to be human.

I do believe that, if the animals are properly housed, the zoo is a great place. I can understand that we can't give animals unlimited space to roam and that it is already a lot better than 50 years back, but it can still be improved. If you compare the city zoo of Antwerp to Blijdorp, the zoo in Rotterdam, you'll see how much better the latter is. The animals have more space and the park is much more beautiful and less crowded (because it's domain is larger) than Antwerp. It is impossible for the Antwerp zoo to give the animals more space because they don't have the domain for it. They could compensate by housing less animals. The zoo is a great place for everyone to see exotic and rare animals without having to travel a lot. I know you can use picture to teach kids how certain animals look, but it's not the same as seeing the real, living animals with your own eyes! Animals living in captivity is also a great way to do research and to breed.

Besides zoo's, we keep animals ion cages at home as well: rabbits, hamsters, fish, birds, rats etc.  They are most of the time, especially birds and larger mammals, house in cages which are ridiculously small compared to the animal size and very often group animals are kept alone as well. My parents own a canary which lives in a very small cage and a rabbit. The rabbit shouldn't be kept on it's own, but we rescued it and have no place for another. It's kind of sad that in the small, lonely cage all the time, but better than being left somewhere outside in the middle of the winter.

As you may know, I have a horse. I try to keep it as natural as possible, but obviously I cannot leave him roaming around. He used to be locked up in a stable for at least 12 to 14 hours a day and when the weather was bad, sometimes for 24 hours or more. I hated it so I moved him to a new place and now he can stay outside all day. At night he is locked up with his friend on a smaller space right in front of the stable (which that can freely go into if they want). I know it's no ideal, but it's the best that I could do with the budget I have. If I could, I would house him in a large herd that have a very large meadow and stays outside all the time except in extreme weather conditions, but unfortunately I cannot afford  to spend 300 euro a month for housing alone. If, for some reason, I have no other choice than to house my horses where he cannot get out of the stable for more than an hour or four a day, I will sell him. I do not want to keep animals in such conditions.

Zoo are great, keeping pets is great if you give them proper care and housing. I will never ever house an animal in a tiny cage or lock it up in a stable for a whole day. That 's animal cruelty.

Small War Horse review + talk about horses

A few days ago I went to the theatre to see War Horse, a film by Steven Spielberg based on the novel War Horse by Michael Morpurgo. It's written for children, but the film is defiantly not fir for children.

I was really surprised that the film was so harsh and cruel. The book isn't that hard in my opinion.

I cried a lot during the film and I don't think I ever want to see the film again, even thought it was very very good and touching. I hope the film gets rewarded with an oscar, it really deserves it.

Besides the very harsh subject, there was room for some humor in it. It came on some very unexpected moments and that made it even better. It was supposed to be a Christmas film, but it came out pretty late here in Belgium and you really get a bit of Christmas feeling while watching it( or at least, I did.)

What I hope is that when people watch this film, they realise how much horses have done for men. Now they are pets. We keep them because we ride them as hobby. While a lot of people try to give them a horse worthy life, a lot don't bother about it. I hate people who keep their horses in a too small stable 23 hours a day. I would never ever do that, expect if it's needed for a medical problem. Horses deserved a good life shared with friends and enough food and water. Their ancestors brought men to battle. To the danger, while horses normally run away from danger. In those battles they died beside men or won victories with them. Isn't that brave? They worked for us, so we could have food. They transported us through the cities so we didn't have to walk. They provided us with food. They pulled our cannons, while they were way to heavy for them to pull. How noble is that? How brave is that? And still loads and loads of horses are being neglected and abused.

In my opinion, there is no truer friend to men then a horse, no braver and more noble animal then a horse.