School, writing and the Elf Fantasy Fair.

Today Easter break is over and it's time to go back to school. i actually have mixed feeling about it. I love school, but the summer exams are coming closer very quickly and I still have tons and tons of work to do. Due to some unforeseen circumstances I haven't managed to study a lot (well actually I barely have studied anything) and I had to make my papers in a record time. Luckily were are not being graded on them yet, since they are the first version of our exam paper, but it means that I probably still have to put a lot of work in them. But going back to school also means being social again without having to squeeze social time into my schedule and having something else to do than sitting at home worrying.I actually don't have time left beside studying,feeding the horses and going to the gym every now and then (I don't do it enough) to do anything else. I try to read a chapter a day of a book I don't have to read for school, but I fail at that most of the time.
While writing has been going very good since September, I now lost momentum and have written barely anything at all since the start of Easter break. I do have some idea I should work out, but I never really feel like working them out. Sometimes I have entire scenes in my head, but I can't write them down because I have trouble finding the right words. I'm also trying to get my writing to a new level by being not easily satisfied, but for some reason I can't make my writing any better right now. It might have to do with the stress or with the lack of time I have. If I put too much time in my writing, I start feeling guilty because I should put that time into studying.And this is the time I normally start to abandon the story I'm stuck with and start with something new. But hey, we'll see what happens.


Beside schools I have the very last day out coming up until the end of the exams: The Elf Fantasy Fair. The grounds of a castle in Haarzuilens (near Utrecht in The Netherlands) have been turned into a wonderful fantasy world. Loads of people are dressed up pretty and there are fantasy related workshops, music, presentation, fantasy related famous people (like authors, actors etc) and of course fantasy themed food and drinks!
Ever since the first time I went a couple of years ago,  I wanted to get/make a proper costume but I've never succeeded. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm everything but handy and crafty. This year I decided quite late that I wanted to go and I had no time to make anything. I still don't have a clue what I'm going to wear... you really stand out if your not dressed up or something.
Anyway this summer I'm going to start on a costume for next year. i want to do something with feathers. I have some ideas in my mind but I need to work them out a little more.
Anyway I am feverishly counting down the days until Saturday since I really am in need of some distraction and relaxation.

Time flies by...

A whole month has passed by so terribly fast. It actually happened before I really noticed it. After two years of doing nothing at all, it feels like a real liberation. I love school. i have never loved school so much as I do now and I am so grateful that i have been given this opportunity.
Going to University is the best decision I have made in my life thus far.

When I was at secondary school I disliked to go to school. I liked learning, but I disliked the people and the environment. I feel so much more confident at Uni. No one gives me strange looks (or a least I don't have that feeling)and everyone is nice. The other day a guy held open a door for me friend and I can't remember anyone doing that for me except my BF. I thought it was really sweet of him.

While I occasionally have a small panic attack when I think about the exams, I feel pretty confident that I would to rather good. I think it mainly is because I have already identified the subjects that I find very hard like English Proficiency and English Grammar.

Proficiency is so difficult because I find it hard to understand and feel how you use your mouth and breath to pronounce words. Also because we have absolutely no way to practise this except reading a sentence a loud once a week during the language labs. And I'm so afraid of this exam, especially because it's oral.

Grammar is difficult because I can't stay awake during class. I don't know why, because the professor is everything but boring.

Time to end this small rant, because I need to get back to checking up some words I did not understand in the 16th century introduction of the Norton Anthology.

I'm a great planner! Or not.

I am a terrible planner. When the school year started I told myself to keep up with the courses, take enough good notes and study a lot. Well, this failed already. I haven't studied once for any course except the one which has unexpected tests. Nor have I made summaries and some of my notes from classes are really confusing.

Since the work is building up and I don't want to end up doing everything right before the exams, I'll have to make a schedule. Making it would be rather easy, but keeping it will be hard. I always plan stuff to do in my head, but then I end up not doing it anyway.

If someone has some great tips or tricks for studying or schedules, do share them please!

Weekend!

Well first two weeks of University are done and I have had all my classes. I like all most all of them (so far) and that's great!

My favourite course right now is Introduction to the Literature in English. It's very interesting but it's also a big pain in the ass. I have to 'prepare' a 21 pages introduction of the Middle Ages and read a part of Beowulf for Monday. With prepare they mean you have to know what's in it, since there might be a test about it. Great. Right now I find it difficult to actually figure out what is important (because there so much background information about it) so i hope we'll get a test on it so that I have an idea on what they ask. Right now I'm using post-its with an extremely brief summary on it and I put them in my book.

So this is what my weekend looks like:

So what are you doing this weekend?

Ready for Uni!

That start of the new academic school year (is this the right term in English? I don't know) is nearing! On Monday there is an introduction day and on Tuesday Uni starts for real. Thursday is a free day because there is a major party in Antwerp for the opening of the new year. Since I'm not really a party person and it's not my kind of music, I am not going. On Friday I have no school as well since there aren't any course I am required to follow.

I'm really thrilled to be going back to school after almost two years. Until a few months back, I didn't noticed how hard I missed learning new things. I think I'm as good as ready! I have a huge new desk. My old one was way too small. With my computer on it it was full; I have a really nice bag (waterproof, in case of heavy rain) and my aunt and uncle are going to take me shopping Saturday. (yeah, I'm spoiled!) I figured out Blackboard and finally managed to change my password into something I can actually remember.

I just need to get my books and stuff. I know which books I need to get, but I'm not sure about how and where I should get them. So I'm going to wait on that until I have some more information!

The only thing that I'm a little worried about is that I have some lesson that follow up to each other immediately, but are on another place on campus. For example I have a lesson in building A from 15.00 - 16.00 and the next on is on 16.00 -17.00 in building B, which is about a five minute walk from building A. I'm sure it will turn out okay, but I'm afraid that I'll miss something important or so. I hate being late!

Something that is going to be weird is that I need to  plan and won't have as much free time as I'm used to. I have spent whole days doing nothing but sitting at home a lot during the last two years. Luckily I adapt well to almost any situation.

Pre-Uni fears...

I haven't blogged about anything useful in ages... I wrote some reviews, but honestly, that was just to 'post' something. Time for a change!


As I wrote somewhere earlier, I am going to attend University. Normally I will apply next week and everything will be official, but honestly, I'm a little scared.
Beside going to University I am also going to follow an evening course about everything to do with horses and running a business with horses. I wanted to do that for a long time already, just because I want to learn more. Some friends of mine are going to do it and I'm tagging along. The first course will be two time a week, the second once a week, if I'm not, mistaking.

I'm afraid I'm taking on more then I can handle. Especially because I have to learn to study early, to organise everything school related. I'm used to learn on the last possible moment and my school stuff was never structured. I hope I will have some free time left to go to my horse and game a few hours a week, but I don't think that is going to happen. Especially the gaming.

I know I can just give up the evening course if it gets to hard, but I know I will be jealous because my friends will finish it successfully and I didn't. It sounds really silly, but I know myself (I think!). The evening course is also a great opportunity to spend some time with my horse friends.

Another thing that concerns me a bit is that I am so shy and not really social... so I'm afraid I end up not making friends at school (University that is). In the last four years or so I had one person in school I actually called a friend, more then a schoolmate. I don't need fifteen people or so, one or two is fine. But I'm anxious about the whole social part already... and It's still more then a month away. How pathetic.

Another problem is money. Right now I am being supported by the state because I am unemployed. Starting from October, I will lose my source of income. How the hell am I going to pay for stuff? For clothes, shoes, school stuff, pay for horse riding lessons (if I ever find the time). I thought about taking a job, but I don't think I'm going to have the time!

As you can read, I am very very nervous about going back to school. About going to the BIG school.

I suppose I'll manage in some kind of way. I've always managed. At least I don't have to get a room.  I hate being away from everyone and having to cook everyday just for myself. 

So far the rant... feel free to leave tips and tricks or something...